His hat-trick last week against Zaragoza – not to be mistaken with his hat-trick against Valencia the week before – has prompted such a gush of global reverence that the Vatican have shown great restraint in not having him beatified. Saint Leo is working miracles.

The Zaragoza coach, Jose Aurelio Gay, claimed Messi was like Diego Maradona "but faster" and shrugged off the defeat – what can be done in defiance of an act of God?

Those goals took his total to 34 for the season so far – how do you stop him plundering more? If you ask an Argentine they will tell you the only man capable of the task is Maradona himself, whose tactically inept handling of the national side manages to subdue Messi.

Yet last season, one man managed to do a sound tactical number on Messi: Guus Hiddink. In the two legs of Chelsea's Champions League semi-final with Barcelona, the Dutchman's team kept Messi remarkably quiet for 180 minutes, and went out, remember, only on away goals and after some, well, bizarre officiating from Thomas Ovrebo.

In the first leg, Chelsea sat deep and Jose Bosingwa, the stand-in left back and a right-footer, was comfortable with Messi cutting inside from the right – his characteristic movement as he is left-footed – because Michael Essien had been stationed deep, just in front of the centre backs, to pounce on the Argentine every time it happened.
Hiddink prompted Essien throughout. With Florent Malouda tirelessly tracking the overlapping runs of Daniel Alves and the Chelsea midfield trying to close the supply-lines to Messi, he was suffocated.

The second leg at Chelsea was a repeat, this time with Ashley Cole doing the honours at left back, working with Essien to ensure the space was constricted. They created a human cul-de-sac.